lelutka

Your Ghost

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“let him walk down your hallway, it’s not this quiet
slide down your receiver, sprint across the wire
follow my number, slide into my hand

it’s the blaze across my nightgown
it’s the phone’s ring

I think last night
you were driving circles around me
you were in my dream
you were driving circles around me …”

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
L’Etre Ears – Olympe Mesh Ears
Avi-Glam Eyes – Ardent Eyes (Sky)
LeLutka Hair – H-NV-0001 Base (Naturals HUD)

Style, Pose & Prop

Yummy Piercing – Gold Teardrop Septum (White)
Pixicat Dress – Darling Dress (White)
Tarte Bed – Upcycled Pallet Bed (from Luxe Box September 2016)
Pose – My Own

Sonic Inspiration

🎧 Sounds: Kristin Hersh & Michael Stipe – Your Ghost

Dawning

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“Come on just kill these
Demands and notions
All this commotion is not worth it
Come on just give this
A second coming
An age is dawning with all smiles and laughter …”

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
Avi-Glam Eyes – Radiant Eyes (Lime)
LeLutka Hair – HF04 (Naturals HUD)

Style & Pose

Mandala Jewelry – Miyabi Necklace New Release @ N21, through November 12 *
TETRA Top – Open Back Jacket (for Maitreya, Freya, Isis, and Venus) New Release @ Uber, through November 22 *
TETRA Pants – Silk Track Trousers (for Maitreya, Freya, Isis, and Venus) New Release @ Uber, through November 22 *
!Bang Poses – Sit 025

Destination & Inspiration

✈ Sights: The Trace
🎧 Sounds: Iamamiwhoami – Kill

How to Disappear Completely

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Second Life has the fascinating ability to be like a virtual Russian nesting doll, with its residents often falling in with a compelling crowd or niche interest, which in turn becomes the circles we travel within. Bloggers frequently find familiar faces at shopping events; photographers spy names from their Flickr circles at picturesque sims; live music aficionados often discover a musician or DJ whom they enjoy, and will venture to those events again and again. That’s not to say that these crowds, and so many others like them, don’t intersect. But they can also be very insular; on days where there may be 40,000 residents signed in and spread across nearly 25,000 regions, you may still bump into someone whom you recognize on your virtual world travels. A boon for those who love to socialize, but difficult at times when you’re longing for a little bit of solace and space.

There are parts of me that truly want to desire the constant connection that compels my social butterfly counterparts, but my introverted roots dig deeply into their solitary soil. While I do enjoy one-on-one conversation with dear friends and loved ones, I’m often genuinely at ease being all by my lonesome. And when life, First and Second, began contentedly feeling like a jigsaw falling into place last month, I wanted to hold that to myself for a while, as one does a treasured keepsake. So when I was in-world, an occurrence that’s needfully becoming more infrequent, I sometimes ticked the Global Invisibility option in Firestorm, which I imagined would allow me to slip in as a shadow, clear notices and make some last-minute event visits, then exit quietly without causing any fuss.

But I’m foolish, I’ll admit: I’d forgotten that Global Invisibility is spotty at best, easily surmounted by certain scripts and by peeking at the members list of shared groups, and most importantly, can lead to some grievous misunderstandings and inadvertently hurt feelings. I’m very grateful to my dear friend Victoria, who gently and graciously reminded me of this potential. Although my auto-responder still irks some (primarily because it remains persistent through logouts, so if I forget to turn it off before closing the viewer, it will still be activated the next time I log in), it’s certainly preferable to anything that may arouse conflicted emotions or distrust.

Still, I’ve had to reorganize and prioritize, and the measures of relief brought by easing up a bit on my previous Do All The Things endeavors have been palpable. So perhaps the better title for this post would be “How to Disappear Selectively”, but Radiohead is my sonic touchstone, and I couldn’t possibly pass up on the poetic nod! Flickr is still my beloved haunt whenever time graciously allows, but I’ve needfully relaxed from trying to keep up with the over 1000 blogs (!) in my WordPress Reader. I’m in-world less frequently, but enjoying those moments all the more, and while I miss out on visiting most of the events I curate in my SL Shopping Events Calendar, it’s still a genuine pleasure to keep that resource going for myself and all those who find it to be helpful.

One thing I’ve found that I have in common with those closest to me is I’m a giver first and a giver second; meaning it’s difficult for me to ask for the things I want or need, and even harder for me to be a recipient without immediately looking for ways to return any gracious kindness or favor. But sometimes being selfish (that dreaded word) truly is the kindest thing you can be to yourself. So I’m not truly disappearing, not fading away, just quietly haunting the periphery of the virtual world for a while, as I once more find my equilibrium. It’s a genuinely wonderful thing when you recognize that you need to come back into balance, and you’re able to make the subtle adjustments to do so. To once more borrow wisdom from a Radiohead song, everything is in its right place. Alla prossima.


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“That there, that’s not me
I go where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I’m not here
This isn’t happening …”

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
LeLutka Hair – H-NV-0001 (Naturals HUD with flowers add-on)

Style & Pose

Thalia Heckroth Dress – Nisha Gown (Rose Solid) *
Exposeur Pose – Spring Singles 12M

Destination & Inspiration

✈ Sights: Furillen
🎧 Sounds: Radiohead – How to Disappear Completely

Hope

Posted on Updated on

“Call and anywhere, I would go
All I’ll ever have, I offer
All I need is hope
All I ever am, I offer
And all I need is hope …”

Another several days of incredibly meaningful words exchanged, and I feel truly uplifted on a wave of amazingly positive energy and like-minded ideals. This is exactly what I needed in the days preceding my birthday; as I get older, I don’t find that I necessarily feel it in my psyche or my bones, but seeing that number creeping ever-upward is disheartening. Still, you’re only as old as you feel and as energized as the company you keep, and I’ve had some truly wonderful conversations since I wrote my very personal post on Saturday morning. I even managed to see my instant messages cap for the first time ever, which made me feel very fancy, hee hee! It’s the little joys in life. ♡

Hope
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Look

Body // Lara Mesh Body v3.5 by Maitreya
Head & Skin // Melissa by Genesis Lab
Ears // Steking Ears Season 5 by Mandala
Lashes // FATELashes v2.0 by Damien Fate
Hair // Adriana Swish (Range HUD) by LeLutka
* Eyes // Ardent Eyes (Fjord v1) by Avi-Glam

Style

Necklace // Ever Anchor Necklace (Silver) by YS&YS
Gown // Helena Gown (Air) by Thalia Heckroth

Pose, Destination & Inspiration

Poses // Valeria Pose 3 and Hera Pose 4 by Label Motion
Location // Chouchou V
Song Spark // Toad the Wet Sprocket – Hope

I visited the always beautiful and inspiring Chouchou V region for this picture, which exists as a gorgeous cathedral in the sky. My dress is the sumptuous and slinky Helena Gown by Thalia Heckroth, and I paired it with a fortuitous find from my visit to YS&YS a little while back: a delicate anchor necklace called Ever! How could I resist? It felt like an especially apropos symbol for the last few days, when words have been my lighthouse, and hope, my anchor. I hope you had a wonderful and restful weekend, dear reader. So much love and appreciation for you. ♡

Cool on Your Island

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Inspiration is such a fickle mistress and curious thing. I’ve been longing to take a picture of this sublime TETRA dress for days now, but the right mood and moment had been alluding me. First it was going to be a cheeky tribute to my RL brother. We have been passing each-other like ships in the night in Second Life for years now, and when we finally found each-other in world at the same time the other day, I was wearing this look. He surveyed me silently and skeptically for a few moments, and then declared that I looked like I had a uni-brow (my head had not fully rezzed, I imagine?) and that my boobs were too big. Classic! My brother, everyone: the consummate ladies man. ;)

I’ve been listening to a lot of Radiohead lately, owing to their lush and brilliant new album, and I started to feel some motivation stirred by one of their earliest songs and my longtime favorites, “Fake Plastic Trees”. But just as the title of the song suggests, my inspiration felt feigned and insincere, like it was trying too hard to be something it was not. And then the always-wonderful Serene Footman went and wrote an incredibly timely post about how seeing Jeff Buckley (my favorite male musician) perform live had informed Thom Yorke’s vocals on “Fake Plastic Trees” – the purest expression of true inspiration – and I felt the notion of that picture and post wash away from me like sand being gently lapped from the shore.

Ultimately though, it was the beautiful Portia Pexington whose comment on my last post was so poignant and perfect, and finally set me on the right course. “Write the posts you’d like to read,” she wrote. So simple and succinct, and so beautifully wise. Just a few minutes later, when the song “Cool On Your Island” made its presence in my meandering, everything-from-your-library Spotify playlist, I finally felt like I’d found the picture I wanted to take. And then remembering that the song was one of the first ones I taught myself to play on the piano so many years ago, when the hopeful ginger dreamer thought she might grow up to be the next Tori Amos one day … It became like a love song to myself.

“I’m much stronger than you know.
Sometimes, I’m not afraid to let it show.
When will you wake up?
I want you more than the stars and the sun.
But I can take only so much
cool on your island …”

Cool on Your Island
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Look

Body // Lara Mesh Body v3.5 by Maitreya
Head & Skin // Melissa by Genesis Lab
Ears // Steking Ears Season 5 by Mandala
Lashes // FATELashes v2.0 by Damien Fate
Hair // Sheena (Red HUD) by LeLutka Group Gift
* Eyes // Hypnotic Eyes (Honey) by Avi-Glam for Cosmopolitan, through June 4th New Release

Style

Dress // Gradient Bandage Dress (Maitreya Fatpack) by TETRA
Shoes // Caty Wedges (Maitreya High) by KC Couture

Poses, Destination & Inspiration

Poses // Carola Pose 3 and Carrie Pose 3 by Label Motion
Location // Green Story
Song Spark // Tori Amos – Cool On Your Island