How to Disappear Completely

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Second Life has the fascinating ability to be like a virtual Russian nesting doll, with its residents often falling in with a compelling crowd or niche interest, which in turn becomes the circles we travel within. Bloggers frequently find familiar faces at shopping events; photographers spy names from their Flickr circles at picturesque sims; live music aficionados often discover a musician or DJ whom they enjoy, and will venture to those events again and again. That’s not to say that these crowds, and so many others like them, don’t intersect. But they can also be very insular; on days where there may be 40,000 residents signed in and spread across nearly 25,000 regions, you may still bump into someone whom you recognize on your virtual world travels. A boon for those who love to socialize, but difficult at times when you’re longing for a little bit of solace and space.

There are parts of me that truly want to desire the constant connection that compels my social butterfly counterparts, but my introverted roots dig deeply into their solitary soil. While I do enjoy one-on-one conversation with dear friends and loved ones, I’m often genuinely at ease being all by my lonesome. And when life, First and Second, began contentedly feeling like a jigsaw falling into place last month, I wanted to hold that to myself for a while, as one does a treasured keepsake. So when I was in-world, an occurrence that’s needfully becoming more infrequent, I sometimes ticked the Global Invisibility option in Firestorm, which I imagined would allow me to slip in as a shadow, clear notices and make some last-minute event visits, then exit quietly without causing any fuss.

But I’m foolish, I’ll admit: I’d forgotten that Global Invisibility is spotty at best, easily surmounted by certain scripts and by peeking at the members list of shared groups, and most importantly, can lead to some grievous misunderstandings and inadvertently hurt feelings. I’m very grateful to my dear friend Victoria, who gently and graciously reminded me of this potential. Although my auto-responder still irks some (primarily because it remains persistent through logouts, so if I forget to turn it off before closing the viewer, it will still be activated the next time I log in), it’s certainly preferable to anything that may arouse conflicted emotions or distrust.

Still, I’ve had to reorganize and prioritize, and the measures of relief brought by easing up a bit on my previous Do All The Things endeavors have been palpable. So perhaps the better title for this post would be “How to Disappear Selectively”, but Radiohead is my sonic touchstone, and I couldn’t possibly pass up on the poetic nod! Flickr is still my beloved haunt whenever time graciously allows, but I’ve needfully relaxed from trying to keep up with the over 1000 blogs (!) in my WordPress Reader. I’m in-world less frequently, but enjoying those moments all the more, and while I miss out on visiting most of the events I curate in my SL Shopping Events Calendar, it’s still a genuine pleasure to keep that resource going for myself and all those who find it to be helpful.

One thing I’ve found that I have in common with those closest to me is I’m a giver first and a giver second; meaning it’s difficult for me to ask for the things I want or need, and even harder for me to be a recipient without immediately looking for ways to return any gracious kindness or favor. But sometimes being selfish (that dreaded word) truly is the kindest thing you can be to yourself. So I’m not truly disappearing, not fading away, just quietly haunting the periphery of the virtual world for a while, as I once more find my equilibrium. It’s a genuinely wonderful thing when you recognize that you need to come back into balance, and you’re able to make the subtle adjustments to do so. To once more borrow wisdom from a Radiohead song, everything is in its right place. Alla prossima.


Please click for full size.

“That there, that’s not me
I go where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I’m not here
This isn’t happening …”

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
LeLutka Hair – H-NV-0001 (Naturals HUD with flowers add-on)

Style & Pose

Thalia Heckroth Dress – Nisha Gown (Rose Solid) *
Exposeur Pose – Spring Singles 12M

Destination & Inspiration

✈ Sights: Furillen
🎧 Sounds: Radiohead – How to Disappear Completely

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17 thoughts on “How to Disappear Completely

    Exis said:
    August 24, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Oh how much I’ve missed your blog posts ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      Tamagosenbei said:
      August 24, 2016 at 8:49 am

      perfectly said!! I feel a lot of people can relate to your feelings! Good to read <333

      Liked by 3 people

        Ever Amaranthine responded:
        August 30, 2016 at 10:08 pm

        Thank you very sincerely for your amazingly kind comment! It’s such a pleasure to know that others can relate, I really appreciate that so much. Big hugs! ♥

        Like

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 10:07 pm

      Awww, Exis. You’re such a thoughtful and lovely gal, I truly appreciate you so much, my sweet friend. Big hugs for you! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    Chloë-Dakota Amaranthine said:
    August 24, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Incredible post, bae. I want to write an entire paragraph about how much I’ve missed you but I’ll spare you that giggles. I’m just glad you’re feeling happier again, even if that means you’re not inworld as often. You’ve told me the same plenty o’ times… I swear, despite our absences, we are still soulsisters… Giggles. Love you bby ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 10:15 pm

      Bunny honey! You know we’ll always be soulsisters for realsies, even if we’re both off in our personal corners of the cosmos trying desperately not to Do All The Things. And you’re so right, we keep giving each-other the exact same advice, but then we have trouble sometimes taking it ourselves. WTF is up with us? As you whippersnappers might say, we’re totally cray-cray. (Did I nail it? I feel like I totally nailed it. High-five, homeslice!) ILY 4EVR! TTLY? FB FTW! (SMH) ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    ~Ana~ said:
    August 24, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Stunning! Glad to see you back, I’d been looking for you..

    Liked by 2 people

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 11:41 pm

      Awww, thank you so much, Ana! It’s such a kindness to hear that I’ve been missed, I really appreciate that so much! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    Gia Swizzle said:
    August 25, 2016 at 12:04 am

    Missed seeing your posts and Ever? Know that I get THE same way……
    I totally understand and I hope all is well ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 11:42 pm

      Thank you SO much, Gia! You’re an amazing blogger and all-round person, and to know that you get the same way is a huge relief. I so appreciate that you shared that, my lovely friend! I hope you’ve been having a brilliant August, and here’s to the dawning of a (hopefully cooler and calmer) September! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

        Gia Swizzle said:
        August 31, 2016 at 7:32 am

        I cannot wait for a cool down! Although here in the south we do not get snow and things of the like, but I am okay with that; Fall is my favorite season ❤️
        Keep your head high and do you Ever!

        Like

    mollywollidoodle said:
    August 27, 2016 at 3:39 am

    Beautifully put Ever. You speak how we all must feel from time to time. And speaking of time, its yours to take and to play with how you choose. You do it with such kindness and warmth that deselecting the little eye icon must be forgiven. We all know the world gets a bit bamoboozling from time to time so.. Stop… Hammer time <3

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 11:44 pm

      Molly! You just Hammer Time’d me – that officially makes you the coolest person in existence. I am totally bequeathing upon you the Parachute Pants of Excellence, my awesome friend. Please wear them with pride and lots n’ lots of neon! :) Thank you for your amazing comment – you are wonderful! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    Aleriah said:
    August 28, 2016 at 11:45 am

    “One thing I’ve found that I have in common with those closest to me is I’m a giver first and a giver second; meaning it’s difficult for me to ask for the things I want or need, and even harder for me to be a recipient without immediately looking for ways to return any gracious kindness or favor. ” – This is EXACTLY how I feel. I am an introvert, and for the longest time, I felt odd for not wanting to go out to public places, i.e. clubs etc., but it’s just not for me. Like you, I believe in kindness, and I am very much a giver – it is SO hard to actually receive something occasionally, but as you said, sometimes we do need to be selfish, no matter how hard it is, because otherwise, we’re going to end up being stepped on and in worst case scenario, suppressed. You’re not alone. :) ♥

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      August 30, 2016 at 11:47 pm

      Aleriah, thank you so much for your amazing and insightful comment! It’s incredibly encouraging and endearing to know that others understand completely and feel the same way; that’s an amazing gift to receive, and I truly appreciate it so much. I just peeked your Flickr and saw your new poses, they look amazing and so sexy! I will definitely be checking them out at the Expose event. I hope you have an amazing start to your September, dear lady! ♥

      Like

    Prettyflower Vale said:
    September 6, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    There absolutely no reason ever to apologize for taking some time alone. Just because technology has enabled us to be social, to allow others to see our every move, when we are online or not, doesn’t mean that we *have* to let that happen. That ability is a tool, and it is a nice one yes, but it’s not a *mandatory* one. You belong to no one. I was on SL for eight years before I decided to get out of my comfort zone and actually keep a friends list. Sometimes I wonder why I do it, I have people in there who we don’t really ever chat, so why are we friends? But I look at it like the olden days when all we had were telephones. Just because we had telephones didn’t mean that we called our friends and loved ones every single day. But we knew that we could reach them when we wanted to. The difference is that it has somehow become expected that our telephones light up bright lights whenever we’re home and let people know when we go away too. But this should never be taken for granted, and should never be expected. Without balance, we eventually tip over and fall down. So take your balance whenever you need it, and never feel guilty for that. Great post, I love your thoughtful topics and writings.

    Like

    the dune mouse said:
    September 7, 2016 at 9:02 am

    I’m with you here sister introvert!! Beautifully said as always. I have one alt and she has no friends! I use her for my photography forays and visiting appealing sims. Not that dear Hana has a lot of friends anyway compared to before. I just am not able to get in world as much- but do enjoy the meaningful moments when I am.

    Like

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