Poison Vine

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When I was younger, I discovered a fascination for learning about what drives the creative mind. I was so inspired by people with artistic souls, so overwhelmed by the innovative works they would create, that I longed to shadow them, merge with them, climb inside their heads and understand their passion and process from within. After some time of feeling such a fevered desire to express creatively and connect with others in the same vein, my like-minded friends and I started a zine together that we typed up surreptitiously on library computers, cutting and pasting the words like a jigsaw puzzle: elaborately scripted titles next to hand-drawn artwork; ponderous think-pieces beside angsty poetry and rambling verse.

We left copies everywhere: stuffed in coffee shop sofa cushions, tacked to bulletin boards around town, pooling in haphazardous piles on the floor of every ‘alternative’ store we knew. Over time, we attracted a small following, and when the Internet became more available, a Geocities page followed. And when submissions trickled in from artists and authors countrywide, I felt I had finally found my collective; yet still, I was unsatisfied. Because reading these amazing words, seeing the drawings, even enigmatically receiving demo tapes, I felt … unworthy, like an impostor. As though I had no hope of measuring up. It was the same anxious feeling that found me able to perform in musicals, where a character’s suit of armor I could don, but terribly shy to strip away the façade and just sing for others, to be the artist and musician I wanted to be all along.

Though it’s been years now, these thoughts still overtake me sometimes with their poisonous vines. And not necessarily in times of strife; this past week or more I’ve been radiantly happy, feeling genuinely wonderful about life. Yet I look at a picture I’ve taken a dozen times, and I can’t tell if I like it, if it’s acceptable, if it’s something worthy of your time or mine. But it’s all just over-thinking, and I’m trying my best to not let doubts overwhelm. Some might say: “Hey, relax – these are just pictures, showing off pixel clothing and virtual sights.” But they have also become a way to express and connect, a means for being artistic, and for finding creative release. I’ve met some of the dearest, most beloved people to me in Second Life through Flickr, whose pictures ignited appreciation, and whose kindred spirits inspired so much more. So they begin as simple pictures, but with luck, like so many springtime buds and blossoms, something takes root and they begin to bloom. ♡

Poison Vine
Please click for full size.

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
Avi-Glam Eyes – Ardent Eyes (Sky v1) *
Rezology Hair – Windswept *

Style & Pose

Baubles! by Phe Jewelry – Peacock Necklace (Gold) New Release @ On9, through June 28th *
Lavian & Co Dress – I Can Feel Your Body Dress (Bag 1) New Release @ On9, through June 28th *
ChicChica Shoes – Perola (Nude) New Release @ On9, through June 28th *
Amitie Pose – Ella 05 New Release @ On9, through June 28th *

Destination & Inspiration

✈ Sights: Crossing Currents
🎧 Sounds: Left – Poison Vine

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21 thoughts on “Poison Vine

    oksanajewell said:
    June 18, 2016 at 8:02 am

    very beautiful :)

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:32 am

      Thank you so very much, beautiful Oksana! You’re so lovely! ♥

      Like

    Gia Swizzle said:
    June 18, 2016 at 9:12 am

    Poison vine sounds so naughty! Lol
    I enjoyed reading your trip down memory lane and like you I feel the same about anything creative I have done via SL or First World. I think it is natural and I am a analytical person in addition, so I try not to over think things too much-which is hard for me. I can sooooo relate to you Ever! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Myra Wildmist said:
    June 18, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    I love what’s bloomed.

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:34 am

      Four more perfect words could not have been said, Myra. Thank you for such a beautiful and thoughtful comment! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    Chloë-Dakota Rose said:
    June 18, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    Seriously, your writing is so awesome. You have a way with words… And it’s really touching and beautiful! Loved this, my darling ♥

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:34 am

      Awww, bae! You’re too sweet to me, lovely lady. I feel so blessed that you like reading my words, it really makes me feel wonderful inside. Lots of hugs and love for you! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    carolineapollo said:
    June 18, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Your pictures are always beautiful! Always!

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:36 am

      Thank you so very much, dear Caroline! You are truly such a gem! ♥

      Like

    meanwhilesl said:
    June 18, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    landacrystal said:
    June 19, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    Very sexy look Ever ! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    the dune mouse said:
    June 20, 2016 at 12:21 am

    well said Ever!! I think all creative people have doubts!! I’m plagued with them You are uniquely and creatively you! That creative fire keeps you going no matter the cost , the criticism or accolades.

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:38 am

      Beautiful words, Cybele! Creativity can be so tricksy and doubts can trouble the mind, but in the end it’s worth every false start and uncertainty. Keep those fires going, dear lady! You’re a treasure. ♥

      Liked by 1 person

    Moz Loordes said:
    June 20, 2016 at 9:58 am

    Pictures are never just ‘pictures’, they are something you’ve put your creativity into, your time and maybe your angst… and without you they wouldn’t exist :)

    Liked by 1 person

      Ever Amaranthine responded:
      June 21, 2016 at 4:40 am

      Your words are so thoughtful and poignant, Moz! Beautifully expressed, and you are so right. Thank you so much for this comment, you gave me a huge smile! ♥

      Like

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